Sunday, February 6, 2011

Our part in the 511FavorFast is over. I can't say I'm not thankful. I love food so much, and I missed chicken more than I should admit. Goodness, I love chicken.

Though today I learned that maybe harder than forfeiting food is the involuntary act of relinquishing my voice. Just flat out lost it. Halfway through a church service in which I was scheduled to lead a song about the greatness and glory of God I lost one of the best gifts He's given me. At the time I managed to keep calm about it (a feat for me), but I never realized how emotionally painful it would be to lose my voice. Singing is my thing, my passion. If there is one thing in life that I know I can do well, it is to sing. God has blessed me in an unimaginable way. And it's important to realize that even if He has taken my voice (whether temporarily or forever), He has still blessed me. It actually worked out well because today we sang a song called Your Favor, and my prayer during the second half of the song:

I'll give You everything I have
because I was undeserving
and You chose me

was exactly that. If it meant to give up my voice then I would give that along with everything else I have. I hate to lose it, but I will give it back to You. I am so undeserving, and still You chose to pour Your favor on me.

I truly am praying that I get my voice back soon. I never imagined that it would affect me the way it has today (or maybe I'm just overly tired). Even though I want it back, I also want to continue to pursue the Lord and sacrifice it all to see His glory revealed. Maybe someone today at Providence was touched by the words of Freedom is Here and needed to hear it again. Maybe I have not been truly thankful and humble with my words and my voice. Maybe my voice just wanted a break :)
Either way, I know that in loss (big or small), there is much to be learned.

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