Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Is It Right To Be Angry?

Yes, I'm still chugging along through b90x! I'm a day or so behind, but I'm almost done with the Old Testament and on to the home stretch of the New!

Honestly, reading through all of the Old Testament at once is a daunting task. The Israelites were awful and repetitive and just hard to follow. The worst part is that we're exactly like them now. We don't see idols as golden calves or wooden monuments, but we have them. We turn from the Lord daily, so it's hard for me to face it as I read a thousand straight pages about it.


I just finished Jonah, which is another great example of a story that stings because it is such an accurate representation of my own shortcomings. Jonah runs from God, spends some days in the fish's belly and says one sentence that somehow turns 120,000 people back to God (I can't help get the feeling that either the author left a lot of critical details out or that pieces of this story were lost along the line). Once they decide to repent, Jonah is pissed. So mad. He even asks for God to kill him! He'd rather die than have his enemies receive forgiveness and happiness. I received a little tap on my shoulder (or slap in the face, you know, whatever) when I read, "The Lord replied, 'Is it right for you to be angry about this?'"

Probably not, Lord. It's probably not right for me to get angry when someone else gets something good, even if it's what I wanted. It's not right for me to yell and fume whenever something doesn't go according to my timing or plan. It's not right for me to be angry at Your decisions and Your will just because it is not easy in my eyes.

I have issues with anger and negativity. The speed at which anger can build up within me astounds me and steals my breath. Over minute, ridiculous things. But at this point in life I know that I feel things deeply and it's just something that I am learning to control. But I hope that Jonah's disobedience and his story will remind me to be calm, to hear the Lord and to try and see what His will is and why He moves the way He does.

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