beautiful

I feel beautiful today, God.
is that You?
i know it's not me. I haven't showered in 3 days and I put minimal effort into my outfit this morning.
it's certainly not the world whispering to my heart, "you look lovely."
it must be You.
Pursuer of my heart.
Creator of my dreams.
Lover of my spirit.
every day i search for Your voice in my life, without realizing that Your ways are not my ways,
Your thoughts are not my thoughts,
Your voice is one that my weak ears do not easily tune in to.
i don't always realize that if i just stopped floundering about for a minute,
if i stopped hyperventilating and frantically searching for You,
if i just decided to sit and be still--You will find me there.
You will see me.
You know me.
when the world wants me to try harder and do more, You ask me to sit still and rest in You.
when the world wants me to feel guilty and shamed, You ask me to believe i'm free.
You are the one who believes in me.
You are the one who carries me and loves me.
You are the one who calls me beautiful.