Monday, October 17, 2011

Giving My Husband the Worst of Me

When it comes to relationships, there are a million different ways to do things. You can date for a short amount of time or for years. You can do it the old-fashioned way or you can find something new that works for you. You can even make mistakes at every step and still end up in a beautiful place. 

Overall, relationships are the most fulfilling when you're with your best friend.

Robert is my best friend, hands down, case closed.
He makes me laugh, he knows my heart, and he can handle my emotional pendulum swings. He means everything to me.

So why do I repeatedly find myself bringing him my worst?

At the end of the day, he gets all my crap. He gets my whining and complaining, my statements that life isn't fair. He gets my pride and my arrogance, my arguments for why I deserve certain things in life. He gets my ego and my selfishness, my greed. He gets to hear me complain about things I would never admit to anyone else. He hears what I hate and why. He hears my off-handed, rude remarks, and 90% of the curse words I say are only spoken in his presence.

He sees the absolute worst of me every day.

Thankfully he is my husband and my best friend, and he loves me no matter what.
I know that no matter how much negativity I pour out or how many times I complain about the same stupid things, he will always love me. He married me and promised to love me no matter what. He knew that sometimes it would seem that there was more "worse" than "better" and more "poorer" than "richer," but that's just part of the promise. 

He is my best friend, but I often take advantage of that by bringing him what's at the bottom of the barrel. And I know that's not how it should be.

Even though my husband is willing to listen to my whining and complaining, that shouldn't be the first thing I bring him.
Even though I trust him more than anyone, gossip should not be the main topic of conversation between us. 

Robert and I want our marriage to bring God glory, but there is no glory in careless speech and thoughtless comments. And I am not honoring my husband when I assume I can unload all of my negativity on him.

A best friend loves unconditionally, but that's no excuse to test them with negative conditions and ask them to prove that kind of love.

I'm thankful that my husband is my best friend, and I don't want to take advantage of that. I want to bring to him all of my joy, peace and love; all of my triumphs. I want to be able to turn to him when I need to lean on him, but I don't want complaints to be the only words I speak to him.

He loves me unconditionally as my best friend, and first and foremost he deserves my very best. 

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