Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Robert and I have been together about  3 years altogether. We started off as friends serving together at church. He vehemently denied that he had any attraction to me (mostly because of the 6 year age difference), and I spent all my time trying to convince him otherwise. It's been a lot of fun :)
We were engaged for a little over a year, and it was an interesting time because it wasn't spent planning a wedding or...anything really. It was just kind of proving to people and each other that we were serious. Nevertheless, it was a great time, and we grew a lot throughout it. I was going through some of my most difficult personal issues (so far, at least) during our engagement, and we were really pushed to grow with each other and support each other in it. So when we finally decided to just go for it and get married the last week of 2010, it seemed rushed, but it just made sense. We were ready. So we threw aside plans or thoughts of a wedding, told only family and our two witnesses, found an apartment and did it. And it's been great.
I know we're only 3 weeks into it and therefore still in the "honeymoon" phase, but it's truly been awesome. I thought that when we got married, I would miss him less. That I would know he is mine and therefore not be desperate for his attention. Very wrong. I'd rather spend every second with him than do anything else. I thought a lot of things, and I'm sure they'll all be proved wrong over the years.

The truth is, I don't think anyone knows what to expect of marriage before they get there. It's weird, I'm realizing that I didn't prepare for it at all. How do you prepare for that? Should I have read books? Should I have talked to more married women about their own experiences? Should I have prayed more? I don't know. But the point is, other than living together and being together all the time, I had no idea what marriage actually was or is. and obviously I'm still learning and feel like I will be for my entire life. It's kind of exciting. This is finally something that neither he nor I have ever done or experienced. Robert is good at a lot of things I am not and vice versa. But this: the most important relationship and experience we will share together is brand new, and neither of us know what to expect. It's going to be great.

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