Sooo it's late spring/early summer and my favorite part of the year! Most days are not too hot and nowhere near cold, so I'm happy. Here are some personal goals going into summer:
+ get a macbook pro! I figure if I can save the next 10 small checks I get, we can add to that and afford one! Now that I'm working with Robert at the shop, I think a mac would be a great investment. We could organize everything we need in one space for our personal lives and the business and be done with it. Plus, they're pretty!
+ no more makeup! Right now, I have basically every makeup item I could ever need. I have plenty of blush, eyeshadow, nail polish, lipstick, lip gloss, eyeliner, etc. Too much!! So I need to stop shopping for it. I need to run out of stuff I already have and stop looking at makeup ads and wishing I had more. It's ridiculous. I've never been "that girl" who needs to wear makeup, but the pretty packaging and colors has just begun to appeal to me too much. So no more!
+ be more active! Today I'm going to get a bike! Just a simple mountain bike from wal-mart. Nothing too fancy. We've got tons of sidewalk space around our neighborhood, and biking will be something that gives me some exercise time without killing me. I'm pretty excited.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Saying Goodbye
It's been a pretty insane month for us. We went on the cruise, had Rob's mom stay with us for a week, had Lauren and Max stay with us for a week, and I just got back from a couple days in my hometown, Greenville. All of the things we've done and been through in the last month have been great but exhausting. Especially my trip to Greenville.
Last week my mother sent me a text saying that my grandma did not have much time left. She's been living (and deteriorating) with Alzheimer's for years now, and this was just the end of it all. When my mom originally told me, I made the decision not to go see her. In the end, I'm glad I changed my mind because even though what I saw was heartbreaking, my heart is peaceful knowing I was able to say goodbye to the woman I loved and lived with for most of my life. The woman who took care of us. She was so beautiful and fun, and I'm so thankful I was able to spend one last day with her. Here are some thoughts I wrote down while sitting with her. Just some jumbled things:
[i feel the fade of daylight rather than see it. i feel everything now. sorrow, pain, helplessness, guilt, memories of happiness, joy. she is paper thin. her skin brittle and dry. her heart struggling to keep up. her mind, her spirit...somewhere else. she is not the woman i knew from birth. the woman who laughed with me, cried with me, scolded me, shared my pain. memories flood over me. this woman is beautiful, caring, smart, quick, so funny and so stubborn. even now, she holds on to what we all wish she would let go of. she clings to my heart the way she clings to each and every breath. she refuses to let go, and i can't figure out why. is she afraid? what is she holding on to here?]
Anyway, I'm very glad I was able to see her even if she wasn't aware of it. I'm glad I could go say goodbye to her and tell her how much I love her. I'm so glad she's done struggling and holding on. I have so many amazing memories of her and all of her sacrifice for my family. I know I took her for granted when I was younger, but I loved her a lot and am very thankful for her.
Last week my mother sent me a text saying that my grandma did not have much time left. She's been living (and deteriorating) with Alzheimer's for years now, and this was just the end of it all. When my mom originally told me, I made the decision not to go see her. In the end, I'm glad I changed my mind because even though what I saw was heartbreaking, my heart is peaceful knowing I was able to say goodbye to the woman I loved and lived with for most of my life. The woman who took care of us. She was so beautiful and fun, and I'm so thankful I was able to spend one last day with her. Here are some thoughts I wrote down while sitting with her. Just some jumbled things:
[i feel the fade of daylight rather than see it. i feel everything now. sorrow, pain, helplessness, guilt, memories of happiness, joy. she is paper thin. her skin brittle and dry. her heart struggling to keep up. her mind, her spirit...somewhere else. she is not the woman i knew from birth. the woman who laughed with me, cried with me, scolded me, shared my pain. memories flood over me. this woman is beautiful, caring, smart, quick, so funny and so stubborn. even now, she holds on to what we all wish she would let go of. she clings to my heart the way she clings to each and every breath. she refuses to let go, and i can't figure out why. is she afraid? what is she holding on to here?]
Anyway, I'm very glad I was able to see her even if she wasn't aware of it. I'm glad I could go say goodbye to her and tell her how much I love her. I'm so glad she's done struggling and holding on. I have so many amazing memories of her and all of her sacrifice for my family. I know I took her for granted when I was younger, but I loved her a lot and am very thankful for her.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Some Random Bits and Pieces
+ We've had a constant flow of guests and visitors for the past couple weeks. It's been really amazing getting to see so many people I miss, but I know Robert will be very happy when we can go back to our normal routine of Call of Duty after work for 3 hours :) His routine, really.
+ I just spent way too much money on makeup. But I'm so excited about it. If someone has tips as to how to break a makeup-buying addiction, please let me know.
+ This past weekend was really powerful at church. We began a relationship series, and I know a lot of marriages will be moved by God during it, as well as a lot of individuals. The worship set was amazing, and I think if I knew how to do a back flip, I would have done it on stage. The energy was insane.
+ My nails are awesome. I got a coppery-red shade. It's called Shimmering Mauve which is not accurate at all but beautiful, nonetheless. I love it :)
Obviously, this picture is not an accurate representation of the color, and yet, I chose to put it up anyway. You're welcome!
+ I updated my "about me" or "who I am" page! It doesn't have any new information, but it contains a pretty mortifying picture. Please, go enjoy.
+ I just spent way too much money on makeup. But I'm so excited about it. If someone has tips as to how to break a makeup-buying addiction, please let me know.
+ This past weekend was really powerful at church. We began a relationship series, and I know a lot of marriages will be moved by God during it, as well as a lot of individuals. The worship set was amazing, and I think if I knew how to do a back flip, I would have done it on stage. The energy was insane.
+ My nails are awesome. I got a coppery-red shade. It's called Shimmering Mauve which is not accurate at all but beautiful, nonetheless. I love it :)
Obviously, this picture is not an accurate representation of the color, and yet, I chose to put it up anyway. You're welcome!
+ I updated my "about me" or "who I am" page! It doesn't have any new information, but it contains a pretty mortifying picture. Please, go enjoy.
Friday, April 29, 2011
My First Week at the New Job
Well, it's been an interesting week. It's my first week working with my husband at our shop, Christian Family Automotive.
It's a brand new experience in a field I'm unfamiliar with, taking on a job that I've never done before, with no one to train me. Sounds like a good plan, right?
Right.
And it's actually going okay. This week has been weird, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I need to be doing on a daily basis to be productive. There's a lot of grey space in this job, at least as far as I can see. I'm sure I'll find plenty of things to be busy with soon.
I really love being near Robert all day long. We're not spending quality time together during the day, so it's not an overwhelming closeness. In other words, we're not getting tired of each other :) It's really nice.
In other news, I am waiting for Lauren and Max to get here. I want more than anything to stick a tracking device on them, and I wish you could see my planner right now. On Monday of this week it says "LAUREN AND MAX ARE COMING" and below that it says (tomorrow)...(or thursday)...(next week?) haha it's so sad. I just want them to be here!!
I hope you're having a great week!
It's a brand new experience in a field I'm unfamiliar with, taking on a job that I've never done before, with no one to train me. Sounds like a good plan, right?
Right.
And it's actually going okay. This week has been weird, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I need to be doing on a daily basis to be productive. There's a lot of grey space in this job, at least as far as I can see. I'm sure I'll find plenty of things to be busy with soon.
I really love being near Robert all day long. We're not spending quality time together during the day, so it's not an overwhelming closeness. In other words, we're not getting tired of each other :) It's really nice.
In other news, I am waiting for Lauren and Max to get here. I want more than anything to stick a tracking device on them, and I wish you could see my planner right now. On Monday of this week it says "LAUREN AND MAX ARE COMING" and below that it says (tomorrow)...(or thursday)...(next week?) haha it's so sad. I just want them to be here!!
I hope you're having a great week!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter :)
Happy Easter!! I hope you've had a great one. Mine has been phenomenal, and there are several things going on right now that I'm really excited about.
+ our cruise was awesome! It was so nice to get away on vacation with my husband. We spent a lot of time together, and one of my favorite days was on Roatan (and island in Honduras) where he and I rented a car and spent the whole day together driving around the island and swimming in the ocean. This trip definitely made up for our lack of a honeymoon, and I am forever grateful for the friends who took us.
+ I quit my job!! yaaaaaay. I am finally free of retail work, and I could not be more excited. Working in the same store for the last 2 years has been really difficult for me. It was a negative environment with a lot of angry and sad people. I will definitely miss the people that I worked with (and was blessed to hear that they would miss me, too), but I am glad to be gone. Which leads me to...
+ working with my husband!! Yes, I am so excited to say that starting bright and early tomorrow morning, I am a true part of Christian Family Automotive. I'll be in there every day, working with Robert, and learning all the ropes. I have a lot to learn, and I'm so excited for the opportunity.
+ our Easter services this weekend at church were unbelievable. Over the weekend we saw over 19,000 people attend and over 2,000 people make commitments to Jesus! There are so many stores of life change and new birth pouring out on twitter and facebook; it's the most encouraging thing I've ever seen. The Lord is so good. He is changing this city from the inside out. I really can't express how blessed I feel to be a part of this movement, and I had such a great time leading worship this morning and last night.
There's so much going on, and I am exhausted. But I'm incredibly excited about all that's going on right now. I know that this weekend is going to mark a shift in my life, and I'm anxious to see where God is leading me next.
+ our cruise was awesome! It was so nice to get away on vacation with my husband. We spent a lot of time together, and one of my favorite days was on Roatan (and island in Honduras) where he and I rented a car and spent the whole day together driving around the island and swimming in the ocean. This trip definitely made up for our lack of a honeymoon, and I am forever grateful for the friends who took us.
+ I quit my job!! yaaaaaay. I am finally free of retail work, and I could not be more excited. Working in the same store for the last 2 years has been really difficult for me. It was a negative environment with a lot of angry and sad people. I will definitely miss the people that I worked with (and was blessed to hear that they would miss me, too), but I am glad to be gone. Which leads me to...
+ working with my husband!! Yes, I am so excited to say that starting bright and early tomorrow morning, I am a true part of Christian Family Automotive. I'll be in there every day, working with Robert, and learning all the ropes. I have a lot to learn, and I'm so excited for the opportunity.
+ our Easter services this weekend at church were unbelievable. Over the weekend we saw over 19,000 people attend and over 2,000 people make commitments to Jesus! There are so many stores of life change and new birth pouring out on twitter and facebook; it's the most encouraging thing I've ever seen. The Lord is so good. He is changing this city from the inside out. I really can't express how blessed I feel to be a part of this movement, and I had such a great time leading worship this morning and last night.
There's so much going on, and I am exhausted. But I'm incredibly excited about all that's going on right now. I know that this weekend is going to mark a shift in my life, and I'm anxious to see where God is leading me next.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Giving What's Left
Everything so far has been wonderful. Beautiful.
Growing. Learning. Blossoming.
I'm not sure if I should believe that we are on a cliff or not. Will there be an end to the knowing smiles, the inside jokes? The poking and prodding, sniffing around new, uncharted ground? Will we tire of this newness, these sensations we've never felt before. Pushing through unknown territory, grasping each other the whole way through.
It's been a beautiful time of discovery and new life. My heart has been broken and mended more times than I can count, and it's only been three months. I'm offered unconditional love and forgiveness on a daily basis, and it is overwhelming and I often can't respond. Breathless. Speechless, so often.
I am unworthy.
But I know I am ready to grow. I know I need to surrender the last bits and pieces of my heart to the One who will help me fully give it and use it to love others, to love my best friend the way he already loves me.
These steps are the hardest for me, but I am at a point where a choice has to be made. I can either draw into myself further and further until I am unreachable and cannot receive or share. Or I can stretch myself to a point dangerously close to breaking until my eyes and heart are truly open to love. Loving others. Loving myself. Loving God. I want more than anything to choose Love, even though the process is trying and promises no earthly reward. My young marriage has taught me that it is far greater to love--even in small steps, with outstretched, unsure hands--than to harbor hurt and anger. And God showed me long before that Love is the way, no matter the cost.
So I'm striving to give what's left behind my walls and defenses. Everything I've got. Everything I've ever had. All of it.
Growing. Learning. Blossoming.
I'm not sure if I should believe that we are on a cliff or not. Will there be an end to the knowing smiles, the inside jokes? The poking and prodding, sniffing around new, uncharted ground? Will we tire of this newness, these sensations we've never felt before. Pushing through unknown territory, grasping each other the whole way through.
It's been a beautiful time of discovery and new life. My heart has been broken and mended more times than I can count, and it's only been three months. I'm offered unconditional love and forgiveness on a daily basis, and it is overwhelming and I often can't respond. Breathless. Speechless, so often.
I am unworthy.
But I know I am ready to grow. I know I need to surrender the last bits and pieces of my heart to the One who will help me fully give it and use it to love others, to love my best friend the way he already loves me.
These steps are the hardest for me, but I am at a point where a choice has to be made. I can either draw into myself further and further until I am unreachable and cannot receive or share. Or I can stretch myself to a point dangerously close to breaking until my eyes and heart are truly open to love. Loving others. Loving myself. Loving God. I want more than anything to choose Love, even though the process is trying and promises no earthly reward. My young marriage has taught me that it is far greater to love--even in small steps, with outstretched, unsure hands--than to harbor hurt and anger. And God showed me long before that Love is the way, no matter the cost.
So I'm striving to give what's left behind my walls and defenses. Everything I've got. Everything I've ever had. All of it.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
MIL!
Today is the day..
the day..
that my mother-in-law comes to visit.
dundundunnnnnn
But no really, I'm excited :]
I love my MIL! She's so sweet to Robert and me. She always goes out of her way to take great care of us and make sure we have everything we need. And I'm particularly excited for this visit because she's coming to hold down the fort while we go on a CRUISE!!
Have I mentioned that we're going on a cruise yet?
It's the biggest blessing. We're going with 6 of the greatest people we know for a week of unimaginable bliss and relaxation. I absolutely can't wait. So MIL is coming down to help run the shop while we're gone, which is a huge blessing. It's actually really just a big enough blessing that the shop is as stable as it is that we can just leave it for a week! It's not even a year old. I'm so thankful for how God has blessed it.
But with the MIL coming, that means we have a lot of cleaning to do. We're definitely not winning the award for cleanliness in our marriage :]
the day..
that my mother-in-law comes to visit.
dundundunnnnnn
But no really, I'm excited :]
I love my MIL! She's so sweet to Robert and me. She always goes out of her way to take great care of us and make sure we have everything we need. And I'm particularly excited for this visit because she's coming to hold down the fort while we go on a CRUISE!!
Have I mentioned that we're going on a cruise yet?
It's the biggest blessing. We're going with 6 of the greatest people we know for a week of unimaginable bliss and relaxation. I absolutely can't wait. So MIL is coming down to help run the shop while we're gone, which is a huge blessing. It's actually really just a big enough blessing that the shop is as stable as it is that we can just leave it for a week! It's not even a year old. I'm so thankful for how God has blessed it.
But with the MIL coming, that means we have a lot of cleaning to do. We're definitely not winning the award for cleanliness in our marriage :]
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